Getting ghosted on sucks — it’s an indirect validation that the person you were talking to never really saw you as worth their time, energy, or effort. Knowing this alone can be a worse feeling than a breakup with someone you at least know cared about you at some point. It can be a real blow to your confidence and self-esteem. As a person who’s been ghosted on in the past, it’s actually a really easy situation to get over, as long as you understand it. I’ll tell you how to understand it and move forward.
The thing that hurts about getting ghosted on at first is you’ll wonder what you did wrong, and why you suck so much as a human being that that person never wants to talk to you again. If you stopped hearing from someone and you genuinely can’t think of why, that person either found someone else, simply wasn’t feeling it anymore, or they died. Either way, they didn’t have the dignity to tell you, but that just means that person was never mature enough for you (unless they died then R.I.P.).
In the context of getting ghosted on, the situation was probably new, and you guys were just starting to get to know each other. I’m assuming you guys didn’t have a house and a mortgage together. With that being said, the reason you’re sad is more because getting ghosted on takes a toll on your pride and ego, not because you’re so devastated and you just need this person in your life. I know this feeling all too well. It’s almost harder to swallow the fact that you weren’t even worth a goodbye. You feel worthless, confused, alone as ever. But you will get over it, and forget that person’s name in a year.
Most times the situation is so new, they didn’t think it necessitated a “conversation,” which is completely fair. It probably didn’t, but any mature person would still have the decency to send you a sentence IF you meant anything to them.
If a person ghosted you, the bottom line is you weren’t worth a conversation in their eyes, so don’t give them one either. The best thing you can do is forget it and move on. Don’t text them wondering what went wrong, no matter how much you want to. This might be a hot take, but you do not need closure in these situations. Closure is a scam. You do not need an explanation from a person who hurt your feelings and made you feel valueless. You are capable of pulling it together by yourself. You are literally built to do everything yourself. You were born by yourself, you’ll die by yourself, you cry by yourself, and you will get over these situations 👏 By 👏 Your 👏 Self. You will be fine.
Ghosting is a form of rejection, and that’s tough for anybody not to take personally. Just remember time heals all wounds, and depending on how serious the situation was you will get over it just as fast as the time you spent crying over it. Dating is hard and at the end of the day we all just want verification that the person we are into is just as much into us. If there was ever a sign that they’re not, getting ghosted on is it. Move on sis.
On the other hand: if you are a person that ghosts, just know that people have emotions, and those emotions are often validated by other people (sad, but true). It might not seem like a big deal to you to dispose of someone just because it makes your life easier, but don’t be selfish. You’ll never know; that person might carry that short term misery into a burden of self-esteem issues. We all just need to grow up and treat people like respectable human beings, and remember if you do not want it done to you, don’t do it to others.