I thought making this blog post was necessary because I get asked about my love life allll the time. For those who don’t know, I’ve been single my whole life. That’s because I’ve never really liked someone, but at the same time no one has ever done anything to make me like them either. No guy has ever really “stood out,” let’s just say that.
My worry is not that I’ll “never find someone” that will spark my feelings, because I know that I will. But until then, I’m obviously going to be single. But we need to stop the stigma of being single is a negative thing.
First off, if you’re single, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. There are so many factors that could be. Maybe you’re not looking, maybe you’re focusing on yourself, maybe you’re too busy, maybe you’re going through something emotionally, maybe you just got out of a relationship. Or maybe you just simply haven’t found someone. All of those things are okay… so why do we get down on ourselves?
I’d be lying if I said I’ve never wondered when I’d have my first boyfriend, or even just an interest in someone for more than a couple weeks. It doesn’t help that everyone around me is in relationships, and people ask me constantly how I’m still single. It’s hard not to feel worthless and depleted. But I’ll tell you the secret to staying out of that rut for good. Whether you’ve been in a relationship before and now you’re single, or you’re like me and you’ve always been single, I’m here to provide a perspective on things that maybe you’ve never thought of…
When you’re single, it’s often looked at as a sad thing. For some reason it hasn’t been all the way normalized to just be chill about it. We all want to be loved/noticed/cared for. But what people don’t realize is all of that stuff can come from yourself so you really don’t need anybody. It’s okay to want somebody but never feel as though you need someone in order to be happy. And if you do, you’re not ready to be in a relationship anyways (I know that’s the most cliche and annoying advice for single people, but take it from me it’s so true).
I know for a fact that I haven’t met a person that’s right for me, and I know a lot of you can relate because you clicked on this link. But isn’t that exciting?! The fact that you haven’t met the person you’re looking for yet, means you have something to look forward to in life. I think of people my age, or really anywhere in their 20’s, who have already found the person they think they’re going to spend the rest of their life with. That’s great for them, but like… the search is over. That part of their life, is over. And I’m sure there’s different things to be excited for when you’re at that stage in life. But single people have things to be excited for too, more things I would argue. Like the honeymoon stage, butterflies when you first meet someone, first dates, all that sappy shit. In fact, there’s probably people in relationships jealous of your position right now, because you’re free. You don’t have to answer to anyone, and you get to do whatever you want! And in case you’re wondering like I have in the past when your time will come, just know that it will. My worry is never that there’s no one out there for me. There’s someone out there for every single person. They just haven’t found you yet. Every second that you’re single is a second closer to not being single. So while that clock counts down, why not enjoy it while you can. Always stay positive because remember your energy radiates, and if you’re salty about being single you’ll probably stay that way. Also remember that everything happens for a reason. What’s for you will always be for you, so just relax. ♡
So when people ask me how I’m so positive about it, that’s my secret. I view every single failed talking stage as a lesson, and really it just means that I’m one step closer to finding the right person anyways, so that’s why I never trip. You’re single right now for a reason. It’s probably not your time. I know right now personally I’m focused on myself and my career, and plus I would never settle. But regardless of where you may be at in life, just know that your time is coming. Never forget the person you are and how much you bring to the table. I promise someone will see you and it will all be worth it one day. ✨